Iron Man
Iron Man is the superhero alter-ego of billionaire defense contractor Tony Stark. He is no doubt making a ton of money selling weapons for the War on Terror. What is good for patriotic defense contractors is good for America. Stephen Colbert has suggested in an interview with Joe Quesada that he might support Tony Stark in his government-run campaign to register all Americans with superhuman capabilities. It's the right thing to do. That Left-Wing Moonbat Liberal Captain America opposes this registration and says if it happens there will be a "Civil War". Tony Stark and the Iron Man armor Witnessing his weapons at work in Afghanistan, some terrorists attacked the Humvee Tony Stark was riding in and captured him. He got shrapnel in his heart. But due to lessons in Engineering, Truthiness, Meditation, and other things Stephen Colbert taught Tony Stark he was able to make an Iron Man suit to fix his heart and also fight some terrorists. But ran out of power and Sgt. Jim Rhodes gave him a lift in his helicopter back to safety in exchange for his own suit of Iron Man armor later on being called War Machine after his favorite AC/DC song. the iron man armor is superior to the commie man-o-war armor becaus it can fly, has built in weapons, and does not make you look fat. Tony Stark and his campaign for S.H.I.E.L.D. leader Tony Stark read a report that Black Widow aka Natasha Romanoff wrote about him to Nick Fury, leader of S.H.I.E.L.D. and liked the Black Widow so much that even if his administrative assistant Pepper Potts he promoted to CEO of Stark Industries said "No." he got a sample of her DNA and used his Iron Man slush fund to create a clone of Black Widow agents to work for him and run a campaign to take over shield. Claiming that if it ran like a business and had a genius like Tony Stark behind it then it would not be as corrupt as it is now due to a deal Nick Fury made with Obama to spy on Conservatives like Stephen Colbert and Tony Stark and learn their secrets. Tony Stark learned to his horror that all S.H.I.E.L.D. technology was based on his Iron Man tech that the original Black Widow stole. Nick Fury tried to run a smear campaign being the liberal that he is, and called Tony Stark as "exhibiting textbook definitions of narcissism" hoping that would be a personal attack on Tony Stark and thus discredit him. But Tony Stark replied back "Agreed!" and then Nick Fury didn't know what to do. Tony Stark used his money to do a background check on Nick Fury and saw former careers of his dealing with snakes on a plane and as a mobster who worked some "Pulp Fiction" type of scenarios, and thus Tony Stark also claimed Nick Fury used too many swear words like mother-F'er and others. Even President Obama was impressed by Tony Stark's debating skills and he replaced Nick Fury later on as leader of S.H.I.E.L.D. until fifth column Skrulls did a secret invasion and updated viruses into all Stark technology and tried to take over the Earth. Deadpool was trying to send a message to Nick Fury that the Skrull Queen is posing as Spider-Woman but Norman Osborne aka The Green Goblin intercepted it and took a shotgun to the Queen's face and Obama later made Norman Osborne director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and forgave him for that Green Goblin nonsense and Osborne turned it into H.A.M.M.E.R. instead. But taking in Loki as part of his Cabal was a mistake as Loki turned on him and Osborne once again was arrested for being corrupt. So Captain America came back from the dead to take the job and fixed S.H.I.E.L.D. and took advice from Stephen Colbert on how to run it better and then became a Conservative and gave up his Liberal ideas as Steve Rogers:Super Soldier. Nemeses *The Mandarin *Cheaply-Made-Chinese-One-Quarter-Lead Man *Captain AmericaNow that Cap is back from the dead. They play poker on fridays again. * Rust